just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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