apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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