Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
