why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
