Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
