I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
BRING THE BAGELS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
