i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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