Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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