Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
