You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
smell my finger.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
