Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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