yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
