Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
