David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
