she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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