You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
