he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
