If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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