I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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