watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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