I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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