I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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