I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
