I feel like abortions should bother me more
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
