What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
