so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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