i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
