The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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