I wish my penis had an off switch
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
