The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
