I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
