brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
