I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
how drunk are you?
Several
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
