My nipple is on Facebook.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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