You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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