She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
