There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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