Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
