Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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