Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
