yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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