I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
