He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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