The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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