Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
