Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
