I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
