i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
