I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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