my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
