the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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