so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
