I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
